Out of the couch

Great realizations indeed come from the gloomiest days of our lives. They all come as a reflection of every struggle that we endure. They all become a testament of our resolve to hold on with our faith, no matter how the heavens would play along with our emotions, stability and resiliency. 

I have been a no great appreciator of HOSPITALS and all the things associated to it, even though I thought of becoming a DOCTOR before (not until I found BLOOD as the eeriest  thing ever). My father has been admitted for the first time in his 57 years. It has been the scariest experience I ever had, the fact that I always tend to over-react and over think (perhaps the result of my overly used imagination). It has a been a panic experience. I have to deal within the walls of the hospital and painfully endure the smell that would always make me sick and nauseated. The confines of the hospital scares me too much that I don't attentively look into its every detail. 

The whole experience had been a conquering state and a food to my soul. Aside from winning the battle against my fears, it has been an eye opener on my part. It has opened realizations that indeed my purpose in life, my greatness lies within my family. And it has slowly injected me the reasons of my previous failures. That they were  not failures without any purpose. That HE has used those failures as an instrument to bring where I am and what I am. 

Several times I have been questioning the whole experience as unfair on my part, by which I remain with my conviction that I could have deserved better. My past paced life has been so concentrated with the desire to achieve more. 

Staying in the hospital for almost a week has been an opportunity for me to reflect and reconsider. As I juggle my career and my obligation as a child, the thought of reviewing my commitments struck me unguarded. The fear of losing one family member has reminded me, indeed my couch belongs with them. I may over-reacted but the whole thing humbled me and kept me grounded. 

Tatay is now recovering after his two trips at the hospital. All the tests were made just to assure his condition. It has been an exhausting ride and it has been draining on our finances. I learned to deprive myself of the extravagances and the whole process has provided me great insights on money-spending.  

After all, being out of the couch has never been bad at all.